Just make it work!

A little background for those not familiar with HTML. A fixed background in a website means that when the user scrolls down, say, to read an article - the background "moves" with the user. This way if the background is an image, the user always see's the image there. For an example for a fixed background see this website: http://www.brownielocks.com/fixedbackground.html

Boss: This background the developers did is terrible, it just keeps repeating after you scroll down far enough.

Me: Yes it should either be fixed in place or fade out into a solid color.

Boss: What do you mean fixed?
(My boss has been in web design for over 20 years)

Me: Like, the background moves with the user.

Boss: I don't understand.

I take two pieces of paper and show her an example.

Boss: I don't understand. Go talk to the developer and see what he says, this is too technical.

Me: ....There's nothing technical, we have two options fixed, or fading.

Boss: Ugh fine.
My boss call's in the programmer.
Explain to me this whole fixed and fading thing I don't understand this.
The developer pretty much repeats what I said.
I don't understand. JUST MAKE IT WORK!




Back in action

My boss wasted no time in driving people insane the moment she got back. In fact, she felt it was necessary to make up for lost time. Two months prior I requested 2 days that I would have to leave early.

I receive an email from my boss.
Boss: Please let me know your plan of making up for today and Friday.

Me: I stayed until 7:30 yesterday for today. For Friday I will stay late on Thursday.


Boss: I was here till then, didn't know you were here.  What did you work on for one and a half hours?

Me: About 30 minutes was for checking project x and then discussing with worker A &  worker B on how to best help the developers improve on it in the future. Then me and worker C discussed project y changes that needed to be done and the rest was working on project z.

Boss: Worker A left at 6pm or before 6:10.  30 minutes?

Me: I don’t know exactly what time Worker A left but here is an email from her below at 6:19pm so how did she leave before 6:10pm?

Boss: Yes, right around that time and no later.  But you said that you spent 30 minutes with her...
Funny first you say that no later than 6:10 and now it magically jumped 9 minutes.

Me: Right, so I said I spent about 30 minutes, after she sent the email I checked it and told her the results back 10 minutes later.

Boss: I will let this go but she left at around 6:19 and no later because I saw her leave.  You could not have the chance to tell her 10 minutes later because she was gone.
OH THANK YOU, you are SO kind!

Me: Here’s the email I sent to her after I checked it(email was sent at 6:30pm), she saw this email before she left.

Boss: That's Ok, as I said I let it go already...
Yeah you let it go, after I proved you're just a hater .





A short break to sanity

My boss has so far been away for a week and will be away for another week. It's amazing how calm and peaceful it is.

Left, no right!

Email 1 from boss.

Boss: 20 year one—you have room to spread 3.875 more to the left, no need to stay on the left.  This page still looks awkward.

Email 2 from boss.

Boss: You didn’t read my email right.  spread the top percentage to the right.  No need to confine in there.  


Take your medication?

I get this email from my boss.

Boss: Make a psd specific for this; 26 mg, ridiculous—it should be nothing else.

I wrack my brain for a couple of minutes to try and understand and gave up. I call my boss back.

Me: Sorry I didn't really understand your last email. What did you mean by 26mg and what did you mean mean make a specific psd for this, what project is this referring to?

Boss: Project x! The psd you gave me psd you gave me is 26meg! That's huge!
You'd think that after working 30+ years in the web industry you'd know its mb not mg.

Me: Isn't this psd for the developers?

Boss: Yes but they don't need a file that large.

Me: Umm...ok...

I merge practically everything in the psd in hopes that the developers can still make use of the file. Something tell's me I'm going to pay for this later.