Started my new job a few days ago. Was given a temporary cubicle, with a laptop and a business email.

Problem is, no one knows the password to log into the encrypted laptop. But everyone is emailing me to the email that can, apparently, only be checked on this particular laptop.

After teaching my boss some photoshop the previous day, I get a call...

Me: Hello?

Long pause...

Boss: When I import it, it put it behind the picture.

Me: What? What are you talking about?

Boss: I put a picture in photoshop and its behind another picture.

Me: Sounds like you have another layer on top of your new image. Just drag your new image layer above the old one.

Boss: No it behind it. The image is behind the image.

Me:...so move the layer up...

Boss: No it behind it. The image is behind the image.

....short pause....

Boss: No it's the wrong layer....I... there's a total of 3 layers there.
One locked, one unlocked.
One gradient locked.
One locked.
Isn't that 4?

Boss: Oh, oh, oh! Ok I got it. Thanks!

She hangs up....and I have no idea what just happened.

I had a feeling that my boss forgot the day I'm quitting my job...

Me: Tomorrow is my last day so if there's anything else you need me to show you let me know.

Boss: OH MY GOD! YOUR LAST DAY IS TOMORROW?! JESUS I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

Me: Well...I reminded you earlier in the week...and it was on the resignation letter I gave two weeks ago...

Boss: Yeah but I didn't know that!

The end is in sight...hopefully

To all my readers:

For better or worse, I will be starting a new job in two weeks. I will be leaving my current job this Thursday. *Hopefully* I won't have to post here anymore. I do however, do freelance work on the side occasionally and there's always a good story to tell.

So do check back from time to time.

11:08am (email) Boss: We need to secure a letter from this artist. Just need him to express clearly that he allows us the unlimited use of this image.

11:09am (text) Boss: See my email. Could you just draft a letter as I pointed out? Ask worker A to draft it, I am busy now.

So you want me to draft it and then in the next sentence you want me to tell someone else to draft it...

11:10am Me: Hey worker A, can you please draft this letter to the artist?

Worker A: Ok

11:30am (email) Boss: It's all right, worker A. I'll do it later.

Boss: Your text, bullet points, and image aren't lining up together. They should all be left justified.

Me: Oh really? Let me check really quick in photoshop...was pretty sure I lined them all up.

I do a quick check.

Me: They're all lined up in photoshop...and I just double checked the jpg and its the same.

Boss: I'm telling you they aren't lined up. Maybe it'll be faster if you come to me so I can show you on my screen.

Me:....but they are lined up...I'm even using a guide in photoshop...it's lined up.

Boss: Can you please just come here it'll be two seconds.

I come over, she repeats herself. I pretend I agree and email her the same image again.

Boss: It looks better but still a bit off.

She comes over to my station. I show her how it lines up through the photoshop guides. Then I show her the image to show that it's exactly the same and is perfectly lined up.

Boss: Yeah you're right it IS lined up! It must be my monitor.

I send my boss a home and subpage design for a website. Both have exactly the same pixel width...

Boss: Your homepage is wider than you sub.

Me: I sent you an image where one is right below the other so you can see that the width is exactly the same.

Boss: Well it's not. I'm telling you it's obvious that its not.

Me: If you just look at that image where one is right below the other you'll see that they are the same width...

Boss: Here look I'll prove you wrong.
She takes out a RULER. She spends about 10 minutes measuring each image on her LCD. After much debate with herself....

Boss: You're right they are the same, my screen must be messed up.