I finally get around to taking my lunch break and a minute later my boss walks over.

Boss: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Me: ....eating?

With no prior conversation and juggling between 6 different projects. I get a text from my boss...

Boss: We will also send over the rest. we need some changes before we do that. give me 10 minutes before I gave you feedback.

Ummm...ok?

Boss: Hurry and get project X out of the way as fast as possible, I need you to work on project X.

Me: Uhhh....what? I'm not working on project X right now...

Boss: I mean finish project Z. I have work I need done asap for project X. Sometimes I talk fast and people can't keep up with me.

Riiiiiiight....

Yeah sure...

Boss: Let me see the animation you did.
I show her the animation.

Boss: Looks good put it in an email and send it to me.
I open up my email right in front of her and just as I'm about to send it...

Boss: No wait don't send it, let me see it again!
I play it again.

Boss: Ok, yea it looks good. You emailed it to me right?

Google translate?

My boss can speak English, but sometimes I wonder.
I get an email...

Boss: I notciced you correct MJE,good!
MJE  sentence are too LONG.
-MJE:....and friendly atmosphere(must be in in a 2nd line)it's too LONG what you did come on!

So... is it good or is it bad...and...I'm just so confused.

What just happened?

I get a call....

Me: Hello?

Boss: See this is why worker X's screen is good because of responsive design. Ok, you understand? Ok I'll call you back later but you understand now right?

Hangs up.

It's not like there was some sort of prior conversation with my boss 5 minutes ago, or even 2 hours ago. Certainly nothing recent about worker "X" or his "screen".

So...you understand right?

I get a call...
Boss: Go to folder X on the server with me.

I browse to the same folder.
Boss: You see file B?

Me: Yes.

Boss: Oh wait I didn't see file C before. But you understand what I mean right?

Me: What?.....

Boss: Because before I didn't see it so you understand?

I have no idea what she is talking about...

Me: Uhh, yea...

Boss Ok good. Bye.

Did you see my email?

Boss: Where is that photo of the women walking out of the train?

Me: Never saw it.

Boss: I sent you sketches look at the sketches.

I quickly look through the sketches in front of her.

Me: No photo of them walking out...

Boss: Look at the photos not the sketches!

I quickly look through the sketches in front of her.

Me: Nope not here.

Boss: What are you doing I said the SKETCHES!

Me: I just looked through them, it's not there...

Boss: Ok, I emailed it to you look in my last email.

I show her the last email with all the attachments.

Boss: Ok I'll send it to you.

Another PM bites the dust

I may complain about my boss and about my crazy hours. But sadly, my workplace goes through project managers like water. Probably because they have to deal with the same crazy boss but even crazier hours. I'm probably the longest held designer here...though probably not for much longer.

Lately, I've started learning to code in Java, hopefully I'm going to get out of this insane place soon.

My poor, poor sanity...

Boss: We need to follow the ios standard. Why the top boxes in gray color? Is that the ios standard?

Me: Yes.

Boss: Explore blue also if it's not restricted. This does not look good.

Me: You said to follow the ios standard, which is gray....

Boss: Yes it needs to follow the ios standard. Try and explore.

Me: So you want me to change the gray from their guideline?

Boss: Anything other than from their guideline.